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This is kind of an off topic post, however here over the last few weeks we have been having some serious issues with our broadband internet connection. Under other circumstances this wouldn’t be as big of a deal, however our phone is over our internet and we need a somewhat reliable connection in order to use our phone. We currently have Cable tv and 3 Mbps internet connection and up until recently have had no problems. Now however we cannot hardly talk on the phone without the signal breaking up. After doing several speed tests I discovered our bandwidth was running at half of what we are paying for or less. We called the cable company and I was treated like a complete moron as if I didn’t know a thing about computers or networks. After several phone calls I was able to get a technician to come out to check out our service. The technician came out and for some strange reason everything worked fine (which was infuriating). Two or three days later my connection was on the fritz again.

Yesterday we did some research and discovered switching back to DSL @ 6 Mbps would cost us half what we pay now and switching to satellite would make our overall bill about $5 cheaper. On top of being cheaper, we are able to get a dvr. We tried getting one from our cable company, but they wanted us to pay them $15 a month to rent one, which is ridiculous. This means we can record the shows we want to watch and not have to put up with some of the horrible garbage that is played on tv nowadays.

We realize that having broadband internet and satellite/cable tv is really a luxury, and not really necessary. We have cut way back on our television viewing over the last year, and are looking forward to being able to filter out most of what we don’t want to subject ourselves to and our children to using the dvr.

So goodbye cable and hello again to dsl and for the first time in my life satellite tv.

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Today I made my first post in a week. I have had a really long week to say the least and all that I had time, or energy to do was to log on to the blog for a few minutes and moderate any comments. As of last weekend I made the switch from 12 hour night shifts to 12 hour day shifts, after only 24 hours to adjust. This was difficult for me as for the last 5 years I have worked 12 hour night shifts almost exclusively.

What made the week harder however was the return of my cold on Wednesday at work. This pretty much put me out of commission on both of my days off. Fortunately the rest and medicine was able to get me through the next 3 days of work and now I am almost back to normal. The week was almost a total blur, as half the time I felt like a walking zombie. Also, as weird as this sounds but it feels so strange to be up and at work during the day. I am just so used to sleeping most of my days away.

My little one has had a hard time getting used to my new schedule as well. Normally, I get home around the time he’s waking up and spend some time with him in the morning. I’d wake up around supper time and spend the evening with him and put him to bed. Now, I am gone before he wakes up and I don’t get home until he’s already in bed or about ready to pass out on the floor waiting for me. He asks numerous times throughout the day, “where’s daddy?”. The upside to this new schedule is first, I will be back to a normal sleep schedule for a change. Secondly, I will be able to spend more of my time off with my wife and son during the daylight hours. I am still not totally adjusted to my new schedule but it’s only a matter of time before I am back to normal.

Anyway, that is what has been happening in my little corner of the world.

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My wife has tagged me to share 7 random facts about myself. Here are my facts:

  1. I almost never go barefooted, about the only times I go barefooted is when taking a shower or swimming. I always have to have at least a pair of socks on my feet.
  2. When it comes to driving I am a control freak. If I am not driving, I am almost more alert than when I am driving; looking for hazards, dangerous drivers, or commenting on the habits or driving of the person behind the wheel. I used to catch myself going for the “imaginary” brake pedal on the passenger side. (I am a horrible backseat driver).
  3. I have a tendency to collect electronics or especially computer parts. Many times I think “I could use that someday” and pick it up, whether or not I ever will use it. I am an electronics pack-rat. My wife has forced me to get rid of about half of what I had, which has done me some good. I don’t really have any interest in collecting the other stuff that most people have a tendency to collect, just the electronics and computer gadgets.
  4. When I was around 5-6 years old I would go to my grandmothers house and pick a wagon full of lemons and I would go around the neighborhood selling them door to door for 5 cents each. My grandmother painted a picture of me just a couple years ago sitting by my wagon full of lemons with a sale sign, this painting hangs on my wall above my kitchen table.
  5. My wife sometimes calls me the human dictionary, because I have a huge vocabulary and have a tendency to remember sometimes obscure words and their meanings. Growing up I was a book worm, and would normally be reading a book way ahead of my years. I would often go and ask my mom what this word meant or what that word meant. My mother got out the dictionary and told me to look it up. So when I ran out of books I read the dictionary, or a thesaurus, or a whole volume of encyclopedias (no joke).
  6. I am a big astronomy and physics buff. I am one of the only non-college educated people I know who has a working knowledge and understanding of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, Quantum Physics, and other theoretical physics.
  7. Throughout my childhood I have moved at least 30 or more times, I’ve attended probably a dozen or more different schools from grade school through high school. I’ve lived in the following states/countries as well: California,Washington, Texas, Iowa, Nebraska, Hawaii, Okinawa Japan.

So there’s my Random facts about me. Now I’m supposed to tag 7 more people.

  1. InspiredWord
  2. PureMotif
  3. light4mypath
  4. Jessica Leigh
  5. Sean McKee
  6. Little Nuances
  7. Soulfaith

And finally the rules:

  • Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
  • Share 7 facts on your blog.
  • Tag 7 people at the end of your post, linking to their blogs.
  • Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

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Over the last few years, i.e. since I have been married, and especially over the last year; I have started to see a major emotional problem that I have developed growing up. My emotional problem has been Suppressed Emotional Expression. I grew up in a drug abusive, and alcoholic family, which was not good for the emotional well being of any child. The two main emotions expressed in my house were extreme anger or sadness or despair. I was very emotional as a child, I think part of this was in response to my family life and circumstances. This was clearly unacceptable to my father, who made it clear that men do not cry and if I wanted to be a man I wouldn’t cry about every little thing. At some point in my teen years I began suppressing almost all of my emotions. I’m not exactly sure at what point this started however, I believe it began around the time of my severe depression and drug use in my late teens. As a result of this emotional suppression for the last 12 years I have struggled with properly expressing most of my emotions.

My biggest problem has been my short fuse. It seems that it doesn’t really take that much to blow my top, and naturally my anger is usually disproportionate to the situation. My anger is the only real emotion that I don’t have a problem expressing. What initially caused me to start looking into my emotional problems was the problems that quickly began to arise in my marriage. These problems ultimately culminated in an affair and pretty much forced us to face our problems as a couple and to address our own personal issues as well. We sought treatment from a counselor to assist us in dealing with our issues personally as well as maritally. This caused me to really investigate where my problem stemmed from and then how to address it.

Part of the solution has been an acknowledgment of the problem itself. This in itself didn’t fix the problem, but it has helped me to consciously attempt to remedy it. The other more amazing solution has been my acceptance of Christ a little over a year ago. Since then I have noticed an amazing improvement in my ability to express my emotions in a more sensible manner. I still struggle everyday with my anger issue and will probably continue to struggle with it for the rest of my life.

There is a common saying that, “Time heals all wounds.” However I don’t believe that is true. Here is a more true saying “Christ heals all wounds.” This is a realization that I have come to over the last year or so; that Christ wants my heart to be healed, and He will heal it if I entrust Him with it. I’ve also realized that God brought me through all the troubles of my life and childhood so that I would place my trust and faith in Him. I have endured hardship and struggle so that I would trust in His wisdom rather than that of men, so that I would glorify Him over everything.

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After reading an article in my local newspaper(Grand Island Independent) yesterday, it got me thinking about our society and the trends arising from evolution being taught in public schools. The article had nothing to do with evolution or schools, it was about a couple of young adults who were being charged with child abuse in the death of their 7 week old infant. Now granted on the surface this has nothing to do with evolution. If we dig a little deeper however we see underlying issues that are on the rise in our society. One of these issues is the rise in child abuse and infanticide. The writer of the article interviewed Diann Muhlbach, the coordinator of the Coalition for Children and secretary of the Association of Child Abuse Prevention in Grand Island who was quoted as saying, “Our biggest challenge is getting people to understand a child is a valuable human being. If you have something that’s valuable to you, you take care of it. A child is a precious gift.”

I see a big problem when a child advocate says that their biggest challenge is convincing parents their children are a valuable human being. This is a direct result of what evolution teaches our young people in public schools. They teach them that we are nothing but another animal, a highly evolved animal and that we don’t have to answer to anyone but ourselves. With this kind of attitude about life it’s no wonder our young adults have no value for life or their own children. We also see the trend of abortion increasing steadily, which is another result of evolutionary theory.

Muhlbach was also quoted as saying, “We need to look at how we value children. How do we get people to look at children as valuable?” I would have to agree, society needs to look at how we look at our children. I also have an answer for her second question. How do we get people to look at children as valuable? All People need to look at children as God sees them. God values each and every life that He creates, and forms each and every being by His own hand with lovingkindness. If society looked at human life as God does then society would have a wholly different attitude.

Update (3-4-2008)

This is a forum where I state/express my views and my perceptions. This is not an open forum to debate these views or perceptions. If I wanted to debate my views on creation or evolution I would go to one of those such forums. I recently had to delete several comments due to this reason. Those people who want to discuss my views or my perceptions can either do it in a positive encouraging way or go somewhere else to do this as I will not post any comments with the intent of bashing, berating, or malice. If those people do not like my views or the fact that I will moderate every comment that gets posted publicly they do not have to come here and read my views or look at my blog.

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So far all of my posts have been pretty positive, or about what we should be as Christians. However I think it’s time for a reality check. Every Christian, now matter how long they have been walking with Christ, struggles with something on a daily basis. This is just the nature of being human in a fallen state. Now granted we do have the Holy Spirit to guide us, but we don’t always listen to what the Holy Spirit tells us.

Proverbs 20:9 – Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”?

Jeremiah 17:9 – The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

I know that I have trouble with my heart everyday. We have to try to be like David, who was a man after God’s own heart. Even David sinned. I think that’s why he wrote this prayer in the Psalms:

Psalm 51:10 – Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Another thing I struggle with on a daily basis is my anger. I have always had a short temper, for as long as I can remember. Maybe this is because I grew up with so much anger and violence in my family. Maybe it’s just my heart. I don’t know exactly what causes me to anger so easily. It has been easier since I came to Christ, but I still find myself getting angry for little cause at times. This is especially hard and dangerous when you have kids. Children have a tendency to bring out the worst and the best in us. A child can provoke even the most patient man to anger. So much more for us who are easily angered. I have to be extremely careful not to lose my temper around my children, which at times can be extremely difficult. I have to be extremely careful not to end up like my father, who throughout my childhood always seemed angry, and lost his temper at the drop of a hat. I don’t want my children to grow up feeling the way that I felt.

I struggle everyday with reading my bible. Sometimes I let the things of the world distract me from what is really important, God’s Word. This is part of the reason I started this blog. To help keep me focused on what is important. To help me store up treasures in heaven and not on earth.

I struggle with intercessory prayer sometimes. It’s easy to pray for myself. We are all selfish in nature, and it’s easy to pray for ourselves. To pray for others can be difficult unless we are consciously aware of it. One thing I try to do when I pray is to make my prayers for myself the last thing I pray for if at all.

Spending quiet time with God is another thing I have trouble with. We live in such a fast paced world with so much stimulation. It can be hard to just stop everything, all the distractions and to listen for His Word in my heart, to rest in Him.

I struggle with helping my wife around the house sometimes. I have to consciously make myself help her with the housework sometimes. I know my wife appreciates it when I do help her out, especially here lately with her being pregnant and her chronic pain flaring up worse than it has before. This has kind of forced me to help with our son more on my days off as well. This can be hard to do especially after a long night at work.

These are some of the things that I struggle with on a daily basis. I can come up with more, however these are the most common, and hardest things to deal with for me. What do you struggle with in your walk with Christ?

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My Child is a Monkey!

I woke up this afternoon(I work nights), and my wife tells me that she turned around in her chair this afternoon and this is what she saw.

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He was apparently walking around on the table picking up papers and just hanging out. Now I need to go out and buy a safety harness so he doesn’t crack his skull open…just kidding. What a little stinker.

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